Pursuit of Essence

Everyone has a comfort zone that, in one way or another, holds them back. We all have a nervous system that protects us from the dangers around us, keeping us comfortable and safe. But what if we do more harm when we give in to comfort? What if the perceived dangers are actually the key to a fulfilling life?

I am all too familiar with the cycle – having an interest, dreaming of all that I could do in pursuit of it, doubting my abilities, making excuses, and staying in my self-inflicted safety bubble. Looking back, any time that I’ve done something scary but worthwhile, I had someone beside me. Someone that reminded me that I’m not alone, and if we fail, we fail together. Without that reassurance, I tend to give in to fears and unsupportive criticism dressed up as “concern”.

Because of all the times I’ve discouraged myself and let others discourage me, I’ve learned a very valuable lesson:

No one is going to do it for me. It’s entirely my responsibility to push through the fears, and stand on my own when I need to.

My environment from a young age set me up to never take risks. At least not the ones unfamiliar to my peers. Everything was dangerous or a waste of money. However, There is a much higher cost to staying ‘safe’ and comfortable – one that we don’t want to confront.

The cost of an unfulfilling life.

This idea terrifies me. I hate to think that I could be miserable in 20+ years because I was too self-conscious and embarrassed to chase my dreams while I had the time and energy to do so. So this begs the question, is short term comfort worth the long term suffering? Obviously not.

Then why do we feel so stuck in our circumstances? A lot of us are products of our environment in unhealthy ways, and might’ve been raised to think of possible dangers first. As adults, regardless of our upbringing, we need to unlearn these self-limiting identities so we can create a new one. Something that aligns with the life we actually want. Certainly easier said than done.

Discomfort and fear will serve as a cornerstone in this journey. Say yes to things that scare you (within reason of course). Build self-trust, because you’ll need it when the really intimidating opportunities come along. Self-trust is built when you test your limiting boundaries and prove that you are capable of more than you give yourself credit for. Confidence will rise as you gain direction in realizing what paths resonate and which paths don’t. Pushing through discomfort in pursuit of experience is easier than the discomfort of wondering, “what if?”

The failure that you run from is really just a lesson that will lead you to a brighter, well-defined future. With this mindset, every outcome is success. You’ll shape your identity, and your path will be clearer. So many opportunities we turn down could actually be the experience we need to become better people.

There is no cheating with true success. We can’t outsmart discomfort by avoiding it and still progressing. Discomfort must be faced directly. Until then, you will always be limited to your current reality. I’m learning this everyday by challenging myself in big and small ways. When possible, I go to unfamiliar places I’m invited to, no matter how daunting. I became the initiator when all my life, I’ve been so scared of rejection. I refuse to keep shrinking into the identity I had that prohibited my growth. I welcome new opportunities, and take rejection as redirection.

All this to say, life really is what you make of it. Nothing has to be as scary as you tell yourself it is. Understand that your time is so limited. This realization can be used in a healthy way to push yourself out of your comfort zone, and motivate you to do the things you know you need to do.

Book that flight.

Be the first to reach out.

Say yes to new challenges.

There is a happier and cooler you from the future who will thank you for the effort.